Monday, February 23, 2009

Capital Punishment

Somebody stole my Iron Horse right off the car rack yesterday. Cops said that there has been a rash of bike thefts in the area recently. Officer P also said that there were a few kids he suspected that may have been the culprits. I asked him why, if these kids were notorious bike thieves, they were still out on the streets.

I am big proponent of both corporal and capital punishment. If we strapped thieves to poles and whipped them with sticks, beat them with bats and broke some bones, I have a hunch that theft would decrease around here. If theft carried the possible sentence of death, I guarantee the amount of theft in this area would go down.

Bike thieves had a special place in my tar black heart. Unfortunately, this is not the first time myself or a family member has fallen victim to these assholes. The first time I encountered these pieces of shit was when I was 8 or 9 and somebody stole my brother's custom Patterson BMX bike. I have had 4 bike stolen from me in my time. Well, 3.5 bikes. I once had some son of a bitch take a sledgehammer to my bike lock , thus denting the frame so badly it was rendered useless. I had a friend in college who had his entire roof rack stolen with his Cannondale Jekyll on top.

Yes, I definitely advocate the death penalty for bike thieves. Maybe I'll run for judgeship next election year. I guarantee theft and population density will both decrease on my watch.....

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Hump 2 Lips

I thought I'd climb Honky Hill with my new Whitey Wheels by way of Kracker Krossing.

Here's Mud in My Eye

Mountain bike season is in full swing. Unfortunately, I don't have the time at this point to do the epic rides I'd like. This damn work thing gets in the way of any REAL riding during the week. On the flipside, being unemployed seriously reduces the riding budget. What can you do? If I wasn't so fat (thanks to my rediculous desk job), maybe I could think about going pro, thus eliminating the need to split my time between work and riding.
But since, I'm not getting any younger or thinner, I'd better get slaving away...I think the boss is coming down the hallway.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Free, but still broke

As I stated in the previous post, I have finished my Fixed Gear Year.
12 months of nothing but fixie baby! While it was a great time, it's time to become a "normal" cyclist again. If there was one important thing I learned last year, it is that coasting can be good.....sometimes. So, as my horizons expand, so will my blog.
Road season's about to open, and I have about 40lbs of winter fat to lose.

MS Ride 2008

The MS Ride 2008 wrapped up my Fixed Gear Year. The ride was great, met some cool new people as I usually do on any ride. Quite a few people commented on my sanity. Ran into some old friends and had a great time all the way around....except for the mice. You see, while I camped out at last year's event, this year I decided to rent a quaint "cabin" in the hills of Mt Vernon.
Cabin my ass! It resembled more of a ramshackle garage with a bed and one those old big screen TV's. The shower had radiant heated floors however...not quite sure the rationale on that one. Anyhow, I was getting my trusty Redline 925 prepped for the weekend's events when my girlfriend screamed that a giant rat had run across the floor by the TV. I figured she was hallucinating since we had recently dealt with a rougue mouse in our apartment. As I lashed my number plate to the handlebars, I too noticed an errant rodent scurrying across the floor. Not a rat, but not quite a mouse.
Later that night, we heard rodents playing rugby in the walls and ceiling. The next morning, a rat-mouse almost fell onto my girlfriend's head as it scaled the doorframe. The second night, we created a makeshift barricade from a glass tabletop so as to keep the mice from walking into the bedroom via the doorway.
I'm camping out again next year! See you on the course!